To My Former Best Friend
I think we knew each other before we were even born didn't we? Our Mums rested their heavy bellies beside each other as they spoke of our futures as we rolled and turned in their warm wombs. Their words surrounded and bound us tightly together with an already unwavering and relentless love.
We were born 2 months apart and like our parents, we were instant best friends. We lived across the road from each other and I knew exactly how long it would take you to get to our front door after I heard the stinging slap of yours. I knew what your favourite colour was; how you ate your peanut butter sandwiches; how your skin smelt; how you cried; how you raged; how you fell asleep with your hand resting in mine as we snuggled under warm covers together. We shared every childhood milestone like sisters, like twins and when I look back I can’t seem to remember where I stopped and you began.
Christmas was always a special time and the neighbourhood Christmas Eve party was a long held tradition. Our parents would be loud and boisterous around the dining table while we frolicked in the pool until we were shrivelled and shivering, despite the warm summer air. Threats of Santa not visiting were bandied about and we were always, always on our best behaviour. Christmas morning arrived and we squealed with delight at our matching Barbie dolls, roller-skates or bikes. We always received the same presents didn’t we? Santa always knew that we had to have the same things because as much as we loved each other we could also wrestle with petty jealousies and vicious fights.
I don’t remember what happened, or when the exact moment was when our friendship, our sisterhood no longer existed, but I do know that we have not spoken a word to each other for at least 15 years. Even though all those years have passed and all those other milestones have been reached; Christmas always reminds me of you, of us. It reminds me of every one of those special and not-so-special days we spent together that then led to the point where we no longer did.
Merry Christmas wherever you may be. I hope that whatever you're doing you can look back on those times we had together, fondly and filled with love. I know that we will most likely not speak to each other again; sadly the threads of our friendship would be just too hard to knit back together. But you see, those were the best times, and we were the best of friends and that is more than I, or anyone else could have ever hoped for.
Love, me xo