Even If It Ain't All It Seems, I Got A Pocket Full Of Dreams
I've got this thought that’s been hopping impatiently around the back of my mind for months now: We might be moving to New York City. We might be moving to New York City. We-might-be-moving-to-New-York-City?!
These words, these big life changing words make my heart beat just that little bit faster with the magnitude of consequences that sit behind them. If our plans to move from Australia go ahead, it'll significantly change our lives in so many unknown ways and irrespective of how glamorous it sounds to drop into dinner conversations Oh, we’re thinking of moving to New York, it’s not going to be easy. We know that the move is going to be hard financially and emotionally as it means moving 15,000km away from our friends and family to live in a city (and country for that matter) that we've only visited. We’d give up good jobs, a lovely apartment, the beach, the laid-back Sydney lifestyle for something that is so different to life as we know it. However we've taken all of this into consideration and we've spent months talking it through and investigating, researching and considering all of our options and despite the potential hardships we keep coming back to the same dream. New York City. Remember the Alicia Keys song Empire State of Mind? There's one particular line that has stayed with me: even if it ain't all it seems, I got a pocket full of dreams. Yup. I totally get it Alicia. I totally get it.
Sometimes I'm shocked at the strength of the pull - I've never felt this way about a city before - even my own. I've thought about moving there a lot and I can’t put my finger on exactly why I love NYC as much as I do, in fact I don’t think it’s just one reason - it’s so many things. It's everything we wish Sydney was - the energy, the people, the bucket-loads of art and culture - the feeling that you are standing in the beating heart of the world. What I know for absolute sure though is that the hold, this unexplainable grip that this has on us is a tight one and it constantly demands its way into our thoughts, conversations and dreams; it seems it can’t (and won't) be ignored. I think this quote by Walt Whitman sums up our feelings perfectly (and much more eloquently): There is no place like it, no place with an atom of its glory, pride, and exultancy. It lays its hand upon a man’s bowels; he grows drunk with ecstasy; he grows young and full of glory, he feels that he can never die.
For us, the time has now come to execute our plans and I feel ready, prepared, impatient even - my thoughts and dreams were left behind there last year and it’s only a week until we’re back on the streets and to say I can’t wait is a huge - OK, no - massive understatement. It’s been eight months since we realised we had potentially found our new home and I remember wondering back then if we’d perhaps change our minds after returning home and some time had passed - if settling back into our everyday life would somehow dull the pull. It hasn't, in fact, it’s gotten even stronger if that’s possible.
So please keep your fingers crossed for us that job interviews go well and NYC loves us as much as we love it, because even if it ain't all it seems, I got a pocket full of dreams.